SKITTLERS - Chappers blog
Chappers Blog 2/11/06

I’m dropped tonight and though I am loyal to my team and friends it is difficult to get up the same level of enthusiasm. There is also a general reluctance to drive tonight probably due to this being arguably the furthest fixture we have. All the eastside texters are playing taxi chicken to see who is the first to cave in. Captain Bond is out of the running having smashed his fuel tank on a cow leaving Me, Dex & Bod. I am playing it cool as I feel I have a strong position having driven to TWMC but Bod is using hard ball tactics to scare Neil into it. His belligerent No text is enough to send Dex over the edge and Bobs your uncle and Dex is Joe le taxi.

As I said tonight’s venue is the furthest we go being the Kings Head at Merriot. We haven’t played there for years and have only vague memories of a small upstairs alley in the middle of nowhere. Neil manages to get us there without incident albeit the Rollers ask to claim the game as its 9 when we get there. A roaring log fire and Cooper ale or HSD on guest ale makes this place look most welcoming. Coopers for Me, Bod & Steve and a coke for the new Sticker up Tom AKA Bond Junior. Sat Nav must be working as Col, Hyder & Brit arrive confirming me as surplus as requirements. I don’t sulk but just try and distract myself by reviewing the fantasy football teams. By some fluke of luck I am top and therefore whilst not wishing to seem too keen would dearly like to stay there and at least get a Manager of the Month award. My interest in the football is taken that I am keen and they all miss the fact that I’m actually filling time as a non playing participant to the evening. We head to the alley up 1st and I take the paper with me.

Don’t really know who did what as it was extra difficult to get involved due to being dropped and the alley was full of big obstructive posts that prevented you from seeing both the skittler and the pins at the same time. Hyder chalked himself up as TOTT (which he thought was an abbreviation of Top of the averages) and this was soon changed to TWAT. We seemed to do ok with a 40ish score but again difficult to judge until we have the Rollers score to compare against.

Out to the alley avoiding the big hairy dulux dog waiting in the way (No not Rob) and into the Pool Room. Nice Red table with yellow & blue balls and a smaller than usual cue ball. Well that was Colls excuse for being out 1st on killer pool. There is a small gasp as Bod actually puts some money into the fruit machine (70p we think )which he looses. 

Out to the alley through the bloody cold outside. We talk fashion for a while as Bod is still wearing his halfmast jeans (at these temperatures), a Gay and Proud top (GAP) and a putrid omelette flavoured aftershave from his overactive rear end. This final addition to his ensemble causes much disgust, as everyone has to move rather than choke to death on what is a clearly visible guff! I am still feeling at a loose end so the pugentiticity is a good enough reason to go and help Tom stick up for a bit as he is on his own working. Hyder follows my example and also goes to held Tom but it is more like hinder. Tom does not need a lucky leprechaun whilst sticking up. Hyder incidentally is where Vicky’s cardigan in off white. When he stands against the magnolia wall he is almost camouflaged but sadly we still know he is there (More later). Again I can’t recall much of the scores other than a peppering of spares and Steve needing to buy the scratchings again.

Back to the pool table and again Bod brings the cloud with him so we are glad to go back to the alley. Time is marching on and it’s looking like a late finish. We don’t exactly get a move on in the alley as Hyder has become the butt of the jokes with his Sheep costume. Rob asks if he would ever pass the Daz doorstep challenge and he retaliates by calling his ……………(edited for libel reasons) and it’s not her fault. He then advises us all that his Haven is shaven again. Did he spin the produce into that cardigan? More scores of a likeness and we don’t seem to be heading for a win.

Back in the bar we are delighted at the arrival of Faggots, Peas & Chips. Fantastic fodder. After much enjoyable scoffing the opposition return to let us know we have lost. Shame perhaps we wouldn’t have lost if I was on the alley? More likely we would have been beaten by an even bigger margin. The sun is coming up and therefore we decide we had better go home before too long as we still have a bloody long trip home. Worse news is that Bod is in our car plus a belly full of Cooper ale & Faggots. Its gonna be cold with those windows open!
Thursday, 2 November 2006
Chappers Mind - Blog 02-11-06