SKITTLERS - Chappers blog
Chappers Blog 23/03/07

Friday 5.43am
…….they tried to make me go to rehab I said no……no…. What’s that bloody noise? Where am I ? Oh hell its Friday morning… I wont Go…. Go… Go…. The haze in my head starts to clear and I here the radio playing telling me its time to go…go….go. My head feels really heavy. Did I have too much last night? I sit up pull back the covers then flop back into the warm spot in the bed and try and come round a bit more. On the second attempt I manage to sit up and open my eyes. The bathroom light stings when I put it on and the words holes in the snow spring to mind as I look at my shabby morning reflection. I piss for what feels like an hour, wash, shave and look again in the mirror hoping the image that stares back at me isn’t going to be as scary. 
Back in the bed room I kick the drunkenly discarded heap of clothes out of the way and the heavy smell of stale smoke drifts up to my nose. How many Henry’s did I have last night? Good job I didn’t go on the Heart Warmers with Rus. Bod had stayed at home as it was his Birthday and therefore he had some vouchers to exchange in kind with his lady. Rus was in as super sub but played his hands off in two batches 4,6,6,6,3 & 6. Not his best supporting roll and he even gave up on the Dorset stylie to reveal his dark left handed secret. 
I dress as usual in the dark hoping that I have put on matching trousers and jacket this week and that nothing is on back to front. Kiss the Mrs then dash down the stairs and out the front door. Late already. I dive into the car and then the smell of last night comes flooding back. I had worked late last night and bought a Kofte Kebab and trimmings on the way home. The car still stank. I drove to my breakfast meeting with the windows open having the dual effect of clearing the kebab remnants and continuing to wake me up. I had terrorised the lads with my Kofte burps making sure I shared with everyone. I like everyone else had started off skittling of average to low standard and there was nothing in it after two hands. The Six amigos we played are a good side and no pushover so we had our work cut out. We needed a win if there was to be any hope of stopping the drop to league 2.
8.45 am
The breakfast done I leave Wincanton the home of Hyders place of work and I am feeling more with it. I trust Hyder should be feeling Ok as he only had one girlie larger top and a couple of blackcurrant and lemonades. Not that he needs the ale to flow to be on top form. He had danced his sizzler specials off last night and was a crucial part of the team creating a new form of Body Popping move. Dex was the scariest as he threw his hips into it in a Shakira kind of way as well as the shoulder swivelling we were doing. Hyder didn’t have his best night on the alley maybe because the doors were half shut or maybe he tried too hard as the hundred mile per hour bombs he was throwing just gutted the pins out rather than any chance of a ‘let em roll’. I pop home on the way to the office as the Kofte and Henrys has worked its way through.
11.37 am
I have been at my desk for a couple of hours now. A text comes through from Bod. He stayed in a drank tea last night ( Traditional English Ale) and I wonder if anyone bothered to tell him how we got on. Clarky only lives next door and doesn’t win the tote that often so I suspect he may have thrown the odd rock at Bod’s window to wake him up and tell him. A third hand 17 from the main man had done enough for him despite a 3 on the 5th. He had been serious all night due to the pressure of the match and the more serious he got the more daft I seemed to get. Still despite us all he went home with the jingle jangle of the tote money even if he couldn’t fleece us with the brag money (knocked out before the sticker up Tom!). We played chase the ace last night but felt a little conspicuous doing it as some big boys had bought in their poker table and chips and were being all look at me in the bar. Chase the ace is a solid game of skill and bluff and with a quid a life the stakes are high. If the big boys tire of the poker phase we can show them a real game one-day.
1.10 PM
God work is bad today. More politics and spin than Gordon Browns last Budget. I have sent my colleague Geoff out to get my lunch from Sarahs Dairy as it’s his turn. A Fat bstrd roll for me and if were lucky a packet of fresh pork scratchings to share. Coll bought the scratchings again last night. He says he is hoping to get his name in the most columns on the web somewhere. 6,6,8 to start with and discounting Rus who was a guest and had buggered off anyway was the lowest. It took an age to get served though and buy the time I had my quavers safe in my hand it was time to go back to the alley for the forth hand a massive 18 up. Geoff returns and he had forgotten the Scratchings.
2.20 PM
I had made some progress on the pile of files on the desk but a heavy telephone conference beckons to darken my mood. Just when you think you have turned a corner and sorted things out life bites you on the backside. I am also starting to relapse a little into semi hangover. We made a good start last night then life started to bite. Alternatively it could have been the ale kicking in. I had managed a 13 spare in the third hand, did a little dance, slapped Neil around the face and therefore I was hoping to replicate this in the fourth hand. Neil didn’t enjoy me connecting my spare success to slapping his face and was glad when I tried it again that it seemed to be a one off as I crashed and burned with a 3. I opened the doors of failure a crack and others wanted to play. Clarky and Russ had a 3 in the 5th hand and Hyder a 5 and by the last hand we were only 4 up our lead crumbling around us. All that good work done earlier gone. Our mood was sinking, as were our dreams of survival.
3.53 PM
Had some better news in the audio and perhaps just perhaps this day, week, career, life won’t be wasted. Had some even better news through on the text from Hyder that relegation rivals the Stokies had lost last night against the Jacket Spuds. In the dying minutes of the season could we cling on? We certainly did last night. In the 6th hand we found more form. 15 from Coll, 14 from me, 9 form Clarky, 6 bagged by Russ, Hyder 7 and Dex with a tantalizing almost tote grabbing 10 gave us 61 and a 27 pin victory. Smiles all over mixed with ale and relief. The 6 amigos gave us a resounding hip ray hip ray hip ray as they tucked into burger and chips. They claim they threw left handed on the last hand to give us a chance, as they want us to stay up this year. Nice sentiment lads but if that was the case were you playing left handed all night?
That’s it I have had enough. Some thing was salvaged today at work so that’s a positive and only time will tell the long term effect. Points were salvaged last night and again only time will tell the long term effect. Had we done enough to keep destiny in our hands or would we have to wait on the results of others. I stop off in Victoria Wine to get some supplies for the weekend and head home to flop in front of the telly.

Saturday 5.43am
…….they tried to make me go to rehab I said no……no…. What’s that bloody noise? Where am I ? Oh hell its Friday morning… I wont Go…. Go… Go…. The haze in my head starts to clear and I realise I forgot to turn off the bloody alarm yesterday.
Thursday, 22 March 2007
Chappers Mind - Blog 22-03-07