SKITTLERS - Chappers blog
Chappers Blog 16/11/06

Nomination, Nomination la, la lala, la, la. Cup night to night and I’m driving following the big debate 3 weeks back. Bod has obviously forgotten as he rings me worried he could be dropped and driving. I quickly put him out of his misery and confirm my intentions. In a weird twist Captain cant make it tonight and neither can Tom the new Sticker. As a result its Chris the old and goby one that joins Me, Bod & Dex in the new Chapmobile out to the Foresters. Rob & Coll are there already but Hyder seems to be only in body not mind. He has spent the day losing a bundle at Wincanton races and he wasn’t even allowed to have a top in his larger so his a bit gone on. The dodgy cardigan is back looking a little less white than it was at the Kings Head and how Big H is going to skittle in his Pimp shoes has yet to be seen.

The Foresters is one of the tidier pubs we go to. Foxy Lady & Banged Up on guest beer does the trick for Me Bod & Rob. Coll is on the black stuff, full fat lagers for Dex & Gra and a large one for Chris. The alley is adjoining the bar so no cold outside walks today. It is a right bummer for sticker ups though as there is very little space down the business end. It’s that bad in fact that for the early stages the Stickers take it in shifts. Bod has been delegated on with Vice captain duties so tosses up and loses. We are put on first and Bod claims he is playing mind games and that was always going to happen. 

We hit the alley. Well not quite hit more like slight knock. Our nomination skittles isn’t brilliant. We are hitting plenty of wood but not much of it is counting. It’s a good job the tote goes at whatever level on Nomination causes there is little chance of getting 50+ tonight. Coll has got the most pugnacious wind tonight and doesn’t he know it. A big grin on his face as he waits for the fug to dissipate around the room and we all drop down to the floor gagging for air. There seems to be one a week with flatulence and apparently tonight is Colls night. Hyder dances to the 80’s music and with nothing to brag about we go to the bar.

The Foresters has a quiz machine much like the one in the Armoury so we are feeling confident enough to put in 50p. Gra is annoyed as blockbusters isn’t on it and instead we play Guess Who. We are doing quite well on the questions but there is a blazing argument as we cant agree if we need to eliminate the faces with the ginger moustaches or whether they need to stay. It becomes apparent that Guess Who is just to complex for some so we switch to Spot the difference and win our money back.

Back to the alley and we are a few up. Coll gets a spare but sadly it’s a 6 spare. Neil is worried that this new nomination inspired score will cause problems with his spreadsheet and again we argue whether the scores will feature on the averages. I’m on and hit big but miss the front completely giving us our first duck of the evening. Its all going pear shaped. More uninspiring scores and a 5 from me third hand leaves us in mediocre scores and me buying scratchings. Hyder is now singing to the 80’s music piped into the alley.

Hyder wants bakon fries but they ain’t got none. I buy two packs of quavers, scratchings and a new novelty ploughman’s in a packet for Dex & Gra. Gra isn’t impressed, as he hates cheese of course. Bod happily takes it off him and proceeds to spread cheese and eat pickled onions while we chase the ace. Hyder and me are out first and therefore go to the bar to spend Coll’s money. He can afford it as he wins chase the ace! I’m on the cokes now and finding them surprisingly refreshing.

They have hit 2 tewntysomething hands and we are looking like a win is on the cards. At this stage if anyone claims we hate Nomination cup and don’t want to go out Tuesday night it would be a lie. However after two more piss poor hands including my second duck it has become a favourite topic. We have messed it up big time and snatch defeat from the hands of victory. The opposition on the other hand step up a gear and we are all but the last hand screwed. Hyder dances and sings to the 80’s tracks now. Back to the bar whilst the opposition finish us off.

Col, Dex & Hyder confess to being caught up in I’m a celebrity already. Coll & Dex are quite taken with Mylene Class and her shower scenes. Big H is taken with Jan Leaming! He recalls that she was one of his first inspirations for a bit of big stick walloping as a teenager alongside his old English teacher. Some things are best left not said. Bod still practicing Bluetoothing from last week sends everyone a picture of Billy’s poo in the pot. Some things are best not seen. Coll continues with his mustard gas backside and some things are best left not smelt.

Our last hand needs spares from everyone down the board and there is fat chance of that. Coll manages to hit 33 and take the tote by 1. No captain to inspire us and we collapse. Even Neil with his adding up skills can’t work out how many they need to win as he has run out of fingers. Filled rolls and burnt chips are dished up on an ungrateful audience. Bod fingers every roll checking out the fillings looking for the meat. Gives an ear shattering 3 cheers to the winners and we depart the Foresters and the Nomination cup for another year.
Thursday, 16 November 2006
Chappers Mind - Blog 16-11-06