SKITTLERS - Chappers blog
Chappers Blog 15/03/07

Life can be depressing sometimes and to be fair things are a little downward at the moment. The three Rs have plagued my week Redundancy, Recession and tonight’s biggie Relegation. Bod picks me up late but I don’t have the energy to jib. I have lost me mojo and funnily enough so has Bod. Halfway to the Halfway and were all a bit flat. I call Coll in the pub to shout the round in in the vain hope that copious amounts of alcohol can lift us out of our malaise.

Boy do we need to win this. 3 cheers 4 are rooted to the basement of the league and a win tonight with results going the right way could lift us clear. They mean business as they have cracked open some new pins & shiny new balls. There is a choice of line to throw from in the alley and their sticker up is laid back about which one to use. The country’s mad obsession with Health and Safety continues as that black & yellow tape that is universally used to economically mark a step has been plastered all along the sidebar of the alley so that the stickers don’t become trippers.

The toss is done and the bus boys are on first. 47 is the target to chase and despite the room for manoeuvre this should give I don’t feel confident. The shiny balls are a good weight but distracting in the hand. The Gaps are big down the alley and the pins are heavy and unlikely to fall easily. Coll opens as usual. Me second, Captain 3rd, Bod fourth, Dex back in at 5th and Big H retains the Anchor as Dexs has relinquished his claim for now. We tried but it didn’t feel right whatever we did and after just the 1st hand I knew Id be buying the scratchings. Not that it’s an excuse for poor play but luckily Rob is out for a few weeks so no ones dropped so no pressure. Nothing special would sum it up and we are 4 down to start.

Back to the alley to try and find a table for cards. Conversations about availability over the next few weeks, SWAGS progress (we have acquired a picture of Clarky’s Clare and Coll didn’t recognise her as ‘he only ever sees her in the dark’), Tottenham and Cheltenham. Waste the time till we are back in the alley.

More early 40 targets for us so time to shine, be the ball and put the arm at the pin. Sadly my Mojo is still missing and I cant aim for the love of it. Dex suggests trying something different so I stand on the wrong side of the alley. My mojo wasn’t over there either and I remained poor.12 Halfway and I deserve to get the munchies. Distractions this double hand included great Hyder tips for Cheltenham like don’t eat yellow snow and dusty carpet never been beaten. Bod smelling of garlic and Dex trying to drown it out with this weeks Bad ass award. Lost both these hands and left ourselves 11 to catch up.

In the bar I buy Bakon Fries (Big H) Dry Nuts (Dex) Twigglets (Me) and eventually get me hands on a pack of cards for some chasing of the ace. Big H picks up the pot which tops up his Cheltenham wins. Washing line put your shirt on it is his advice for tomorrows big race.

Our 2nd half recovery is required. Hyder does his Rocky dance to psyche himself up. He then proceeds to smack himself in the face with the skittle ball during an elaborate run up. Could have been the glare from his glow white sizzler special pumps. Im no better and manage to plumb new depths by hitting the well-highlighted side bar with my next skittles attempt and I will be lucky to hit the 30’s. Nothing is falling and the Mojo drought is continuing. Captain tries to buck us up till Hyder reminds him of how useless he was in the nomi plate and that’s it the resurgence subsides.

A brief respite to top up beer in the bar then its out for the last hand to get our 61 to win. Small delay whilst big H had a pooh. No hope and No Mojo even Dex’s tote winning spare wasn’t enough to lift us. I gave up trying to work out how many we were losing by as the Pie and Chips came out. Hyder provides the entertainment being the fool and his money just itching to be parted. Tom is the main beneficiary of his gambling addiction. Clarky is spurred into a Father/Son battle that he walks and finally the beer is beginning to work. A wolf is let into the alley, which is reputed to be an Alsatian. Hyder states that if it’s an Alsatian he has a 12-inch penis. Much to his delight the barmaid confirms it not only to be an Alsatian but a pedigree one at that. Hyder’s ego and 12 inches can barely fit out the door as we hit the Bodmobile empty handed and running out of options.

Next League Match:
Thurs 22nd Mar  -  Home to Six Amigos from the
  West Coker Club


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Thursday, 15 March 2007
Chappers Mind - Blog 15-03-07