SKITTLERS - Chappers blog
Chappers Blog 26/10/06

Well it’s been two long weeks since Thursday came around. The Captains cup in between with Steve bearing the banner for L & P with a respectable but non-victorious 44. I’d been away on my Sun break with the kids where pretty much the only sun we saw was on the vouchers. I am therefore looking forward to being back on home ground for a proper pint of Henry’s. Chris the Sticker is on his final night for us as he has got promotion to Pizza Hut as a waiter. Just hope he learns some manners, as he can be a cheeky little bugger. Captain and I are first to arrive closely followed by Col, Hyder & Dex. Brit is away allegedly in the States on business again; Dex says he’s changed! Big H has come bearing gifts in the form of matching L & P T-shirts for me, Dex & Clarky. Coll refuses to wear one, as they aren’t Hollyoaks enough for him albeit he is in a virtually identical shirt but its got St Mellion on it. Where are his priorities? He’s happy to advertise some distant golf club but not his local pub or our team. Hyder says he’s trying to get one with a Nike tick on it to keep him happy. Captain tosses up with The Poachers and we move to the alley were Captain and me change into our new T Shirts. I must say the medium fits like a glove.

Coll opens the batting with a well-taken 9. I am a bit rusty for 7. Clarky is mediocre on 6 and Bod is still missing so Big H steps up. Boy does Big H step up. He rips the pins apart for a humongous 17 spare and stakes his claim firmly on the roll over tote. Neil looks like he’s having none of that and has his own spare chance, which he lets slide but indicates his intentions back to Hyder. 47 hit with Bod still to come. Traffic must be bad on Preston Road again tonight.

Back in the bar much highly edited conversation concerning operations, back door love, life, death and toilet habits. Do you look at what you’ve done or not? Hyder reckons Coll would have a permanent crick in his neck if he did with the number of visits he makes a day. Bod still hasn’t arrived by the time The Poachers arrive back from the alley looking happy with their results. The Poachers are a decent enough bunch from The Standard. The Poachers should be a mid table team this year, neither good bad or ugly but definitely more fun to play than the other Standard lot.

Coll kicks off the 2nd hand with a grumpy 8, me 6 and then Captain 8. Bod is still missing so Big H steps up. Bloody hell he’s on fire tonight with a 13 spare (30 with two hands) and Neil’s wallet clenches at the thought of losing a roll over tote and he only manages 7 leaving Hyder in pole position. No wonder he’s singing extra loud to Perfect day as it flows from the jukebox. Coll’s dark mood deepens with 6 and he gets told not for the first time that day that he’s a grumpy bastard. I’m on the alley when just as I am about to throw a girl runs across the alley on a shortcut from the bogs like a deer in my headlights which puts me off that much I get 8.Bod finally turns up having fought through the traffic on his scooter, parks up, farts for England and plays 8 on one of his back hands to finish the first hand score at 55. Captain plays a 6. Bod goes again for 7 and then after much umming and arring goes again to put us back on track with a 9. Big H steps up going for 3 spares in a row. Sadly he is more intent on getting revenge on the invading girl who is now playing pool. He takes an extra long run up that backs right into her way as she is about to play a shot and he only reaches 7. Neil struggles to keep up but it seems the sicks and shits he had last week have left him drained as he can’t find fifth tote taking gear. 49 & 43 hand totals will do. 

Clarky ought to have got the scratchings but forgot as we go straight to the big table for cards. Hyder has been playing the how much can I embarrass you game in the loos again by making comments about Bods bits in front of some stranger. Chase the ace follows and even with Bod making it to the last round it passes quickly enough for a 2nd game to be played. Again Bod makes it to the final but wins neither of the games. The Poachers have made a fair bit of noise so we are pleased to see that we are 8 up at the halfway stage.

The talking to seems to have done Coll the world of good as he sparkles for 9. 8 for me, 9 for Clarky, 9 for Bod, a bubble bursting 6 for Hyder. A nice 9 for Dex who is definitely battling through his weak state. He’s lost over 13 stones during his bout of gastric flu and we are sure this is the reason he seems unable to wrench the roll over tote from Hyders hands. Another 9 and 8 from Coll & Me. 7 Clarky. 8Bod. Two- 9s from Big H & Dex giving a very nice pair of 50 hands. Game On.

Back in the Bar and I’ve got a bit of a bad head coming on. I don’t get it as I’m on my 3rd pint and should be ok. I sit out of the Bastard brag which again Bod makes it through to the final of and loses. The pub is busy tonight. More ladies than the usual bloke fest we have. That said I’d rather the bloke fest based on the weird collection of ladies we’ve accumulated. Not withstanding the bolshy one who invaded our alley earlier there is a dodgy looking bird with writing all over her arms and cleavage. It’s one of those weird things were you want to look to read what it says but at the same time know you shouldn’t. Like those women who wear a t-shirt with miniscule writing on it that if you have 20/20 vision you find out it says don’t look at my tits. Bod manages to read it eventually and when he does wishes he hadn’t. I revise my earlier statement that the pub has more ladies in it than normal as they aint no ladies. Were glad to get back to the alley and leave the intimidating student goth girls to it.

26 up going into the last hand. Coll smiles and hit 14 to finish on 55. I’m doing ok and only need a good hand to improve my average. 3 with the first ball and two gnats bollock misses screw everything up for 40 (dropped). Clarky 9 for 45, Bod 8 for 49, Hyder 9 for 61 (and the money), Dex 8 for 48. 51 and a game wrapped up by my reckoning.

Out to the bar to wait for the result and hotdogs and chips. Some complaints about links to porn via our website arise which Neil cannot take responsibility for. Hyder reminisces about 80’s legends Brother Beyond who he saw in concert last week. Bod discusses Potty training Billy which is a bit like the blind leading the blind. We have a collection for Chris, as it’s his last night. Food turns up which goes down well. Hyder does a sick gimp impression with the clingfilm over his face (don’t try that at home), which puts us off the food for ten seconds. Chris arrives and confirms our victory just in time for various lifts and a Nippy bus. 3 cheers all round and Liquor & Poker are back in business.
Thursday, 26 October 2006
Chappers Mind - Blog 26-10-06