SKITTLERS - Chappers blog
Chappers Blog 30/11/2006

It’s Thursday and after a week off I’m back – sort of looking forward to it. Positives seeing the lads, negatives Coker Club beer or lack of it. Ah well early start tomorrow so no harm in missing out anyway. Bod is driving so he’s got the best excuse for orange squash. He arrives at 8.30+ with he seat so far reclined his head is in the back seat. He says he finds it comfortable but when Steve gets in his head is just too near Steve’s crotch for me to feel comfortable. We pick up Neil at the Zebra crossing and head out into the sticks.

I’ve described Coker club before and it hasn’t improved in appearance. The 6 Amigos are a good bunch though. They haven’t forgotten we put them out of the cup here on their own alley early this season. We however haven’t forgotten that we haven’t won virtually since. 5 defeats on the trott and we need a turn around. I’m at the bar Steve and Steve goes black, Neil goes lager gold, Bod goes Orange and I am desperate to find something I can cope with. No way Stella as she will keep me in bed too long tomorrow morning. Could I finally answer the question of what does the Coker Club’s own bitter taste of? I am just contemplating the safety of Coke when wallop liquid gold glints at me from the fridge shelf. Speckled Hen in a bottle. Result. Steve looks sick at my find and I ask the efficient bar lady how many bottles she has. More than enough for my needs and suddenly I am totally up for tonight. Bod spies Neil and asks him who drove him out tonight? Stupid question of the evening to him already then. Captain tosses up and we are on.

Coll is dropped tonight so Captain Clarky opens up himself with a 9. He played pick of the league this week and the practice seems to have done him good.. There is debate over the big balls or small. I opt for the Small as the large ones are just a tad too big and I feel as if I cant quite control them. Wise move as I make a steady 7 as does spinning Bod and last weeks top scorer Brit. Big H just gets the biggest balls he can and huzzes em for a pin smashing 9 and Dex produces the anticlimax with 6. Not bad we move across the room to take our seats.

Hyder takes Captain off to quiz him for his new web feature. Coll has already offended him by saying its crap. Rob who originally thought it was a good idea sheep like follows Coll and changes his mind to crap. The west side car pitches in and says its an ok idea and Rob changes his mind again. Seems like we will all take a turn bar Coll who thinks it ain’t cool. Well in that case Id better find some more not Cool photos for the web site of him!

We are 2 up as we go into the next hand. Coll decides he might as well play as irrelevant on the bottom to see if he can bag the tote. He hits three sixes is all I can remember and he wasted a quid. We have our bum hand 34 with Brit 4 & Big H 2 the main offenders. Hyder & Dex tie for scratchings on the 3rd hand by some technicality as Coll in irrelevant cant pay (new rule on me). Sorry Dex confession time but I stood behind you and gave Hyder clues as to what you had in your hand and that why you lost but thanks for the dry roasted anyway. Well down, we go chase the ace leaving the alley really smelly as Bod wins the farter of the evening award tonight.

A world first three payer on a 2 takes me out of chase the ace early doors but its not long before we are back on the alley. Every hand seems to be spoilt by someone with Dex, Bod & Brit offenders this time. I’m feeling the pressure as I have been commended as best skittler of the evening and only manage a 6. Its not going our way. Bod trys a Big H style effort to confirm our fears he is turning into Big H. He will be living off chip stick sandwhiches soon.

Back to the bar and for arguments over who is the best looking in Girls Aloud, reminiscing over Coll’s pogo dancing at an old party, Rob & Me blue blazered up at the Labour club. I learn how to make a dutch oven and who is the best at fart cupping.

We need a miracle on the alley but not tonight. It says something when I am top score 43. The best things is that its got to be a double whammy on my averages position with everyone dropping and me increasing albeit slightly. We loose the game and loose the three cheers as the 6 Amigos give one of the gustiest returns we’ve heard this season. Nice looking faggots, roasties and mushy peas arrive so the Coker club is obviously up to the culinary gauntlet laid down by the Kings Merriot. As we head home Captain Clarky spells out the reality of the rest of our 2006 skittles campaign. Bring on the relegation battle for survival in the top flight.
Thursday, 30 November 2006
Chappers Mind - Blog 30-11-06