SKITTLERS - Chappers blog
Chappers Blog 26/9/06

Oh if only I could clone myself I would. Bit like Michael Keaton in that crappy film Multiplicity. How do I manage to go to watch football, watch the last two episodes of Lost, baby sit the kids and go to the skittles cup match? Keep calm and break it down bite sized. You’re the man of the house. If the good lady goes out that’s me missing two things to allow her one so law of averages say she stays in. That’s the baby sitting and recording of Lost covered. Now how about football and skittles? Nothing for it but compromise so it’s a happy man that leaves Huish Park having seen the boys in green & white provide a clinical, authorative first half display including a scorcher of a goal from Marcus Stewart. One nil and off to the Coker club for my own sporting challenge.

The Coker club is not the most prestigious venue we visit but to my reckoning it is the only one that has its own brand Bitter. God knows what it tastes like, as I’ve never seen anyone drink it. In fact the Coker club is one of those places everyone is happy to drive to. I arrive in my car during half time and it looks like no bugger else is here! I could have stayed at the footy longer! I ponder on whether to listen to the commentary in the car till someone shows but with the time nearing 9 decide to show my face in case the opposition try and claim the game. To my surprise Col, Rob & special guest star THE COACH are already in the bar. Bod & the Captain arrive last to make it a full squad. Bod drove and says the traffic on Preston Road was a bitch. Now if we can only put together our own authorative display on what is a boggie alley against a boggie team I will be happy.

Clarky wins the toss and puts us on first. Due to the somewhat makeshift nature of the side I drop down to swap positions with Clarky. Coach slots in at 5th & Bod goes anchor. I love Bod. He has brought along a dodgy old transistor radio that gets the footy commentary. If I stand in one position in the corner of the alley I can hear the Yeovil game and watch the skittles. Who says men can’t multitask. Coll opens with 8 just as Steve Middenhall pulls off a save. Brighton are putting on the pressure and Clarky only manages a 2. I’m up and Yeovil are under the cosh from a free kick. I have to put down the radio to play and squeeze an 8 with the two decent balls they have as Paul Terry clears to safety. Star man Chris Cohen is on a run forward and Rob hits 8.Yeovil lose possession and Coach looks rusty with 4. Bod curls for 7 whilst Brighton curl one over the bar. 37 to open is just not good enough against the 6 Amigos on their own alley. We move to the bar but the reception on the radio is poor here so I can’t wait for us to be back on.

Back in the corner and Yeovil are still 1-0 up. We have only lost 3 pins and this gives us a boost. Coll hits a speedy 7 as Yeovil go on the attack. Clarky is on the line with a spare chance. Chris Cohen threads the ball forward to Wayne Gray. Clarky takes his running 2 for the spare. Wayne Gray makes it 2 for the town. The omens are good. 12 then 7 then 6 then 9 then 9 and we have a big 50 hand. 6,7,7,7,9,& 8 and we have a 44. Game on. Full time at Huish Park and I can now concentrate on the matter at hand. Unusually we need a three-way play off for the scratchings (21). Clarky goes out first leaving Rob & Coll in the final. On form my money is on Rob. Yet again he has out Hollyoaked Coll in a simple grey t-shirt and jeans that seems to be displaying a new improved chassis. Col is over doing it mixing his designer gears and surely incurring the wrath of any budding Trinny & Susannah. Coll loses spoof and pays for scratchings for a record breaking 3 weeks on the trot. The bugger then recoups with a chase the ace victory.

Over in the adjoining alley it’s all very quiet. We are 12 up. The debate over Ball size continues as Coll hits 4. That’s all it takes for Coach to tell him no disrespect but he throws too fast. 6,7,6 from Clarky, Me then Rob. Coach shows his years of experience with a well-taken 8 to follow up his 2 previous 9s. Bod hits 5 and again that is all it takes for Coach to tell him no disrespect but why the hell is he spinning his ball now. 36 our bad hand. A 43 hand follows therefore with the cushion of 12 pins the 6 Amigos have it all to do. Their Sticker up Ryan looks knackered, as it must be past his bedtime. We head to the bar passing the lovely ladies on the pool table as their theme tune ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ booms from the duke box. The silence from the opposition is comforting and we enjoy a peaceful hand of chase the ace until believe it or not Coll wins again!

Last hand and the 6 Amigos ask where we got the Old guy from (Coach). We agree that he’s better than Hyder and at least he’s wearing proper footwear. We lost 5 over the last two hands so go into the final hand 7 up. Coll is finding it difficult to walk with all our money in his pocket. He apparently wants to balance it up by adding the tote in the other pocket and does this in style by hitting 17 to finish on 50. He says the spare was due to not throwing so fast! Clarky 9 for 43 and I hit 6 to match his overall score. Brit continues the team game with 8 for 41 (lowest though he cant make Thursdays game to be dropped) Coach 7 for 46 & Bod 8 for 42. 55 hand score with 7 up its in the bag. We feel confident but know if any team can do it it’s these guys. We’ve lost on this alley more times than we care to remember therefore it will be a nice ghost to lay to rest with a win and a bye to take us straight into the quarter finals.

Col is happy now and wants it blogged that he’s gone from Zero to Hero. He doesn’t want me to mention exactly how much he won as he wont be de’Claring’ it and having to hand it over for a new pair of shoes. I think securicor should be taking him and his £45.00 home, not Clare. We munch on bread and cheese and the 6 Amigos give 3 cheers for the Winners. Bod asks who won then realises his schoolboy error. Not his fault he was too busy taking pictures of the hand driers in the loo, which he thought, would be good for the web site! Coach recalls a time when the Coker club was a tin shed and he can remember playing skittles in it and exactly what he hit. I can’t even remember what day it is. We are having soooo much fun we look up and realise that the Barmaid has shut shop and is waiting for us to bugger off. So with 3 points in the bag for the town and an important 27 pin victory for Liquor & Poker I head home to check the Missus managed to record Lost. Result.
Tuesday, 26 September 2006
Chappers Mind - Blog 26-9-06